The Adventures of Wal*mart: Part Deux

Another exciting day at Wal*Mart! First of all, last weekend was interesting, but I forgot to post about it, so I will fill you in. Last Saturday, I was watching the gate while the usual gate-watcher, Carl, ran to the bathroom. While I was on the gate, I looked at my car (I'm parked right outside of the Garden Center, so I can see my car) and noticed the car parked across from me looked rather close. Carl returned, so I ran out to the parking lot to check. The douche-bag parked across from me was so far into their space that their bumper was hitting mine. First of all, how could that person not feel the little "bump" when you hit the person in front of you? Secondly, even if they didn't feel the bump, it was OBVIOUS that they were hitting my bumper, so they either didn't care, or they're really frigging stupid (I'm gonna go with a combination of the two). I was furious, so I wrote on a paper towel I had in my backseat "Learn to park!!!" and placed it on their windshield. I then ran to the front of store to buy some Pop-Tarts to eat on my break. I checked out and went back out to my car (I spend my breaks in my car), and the ass had already left. I wanted to see the look on their face when they read the note (plus, I was curious to see who it was: elderly, teenager, foreigner, or just plain idiot).

So, today was also interesting. It started off, I was supposed to build a grill, so I open it up and take out all the parts, just to discover the assembly instructions and the hardware (nuts, bolts, screws, etc.) was missing. I had already torn apart the cardboard and thrown it away, so I couldn't put it back in the box. Then, I'm ringing up a customer when I see Lori, our AP (asset protection: a.k.a. secret shopper) chasing a guy down. After I ring up the customer, I run outside to see what's going on and she yells at me to call 911. The guy was trying to steal alcohol, DVD's, and some BB Guns. Lori is hanging onto this guy for dear life, trying to save the items, while he's punching her and shoving the basket into her. The guy gives up and starts to walk out of the gate, so Lori starts to take the basket inside. The guy runs back in, grabs an armful of DVDs, and takes off into the cemetery across the street. All the while, I'm on the phone with 911. Lori then calls 911, and apparently a customer was standing by her car in the parking lot and was ALSO on the phone with 911. 20 minutes later, the cops finally show up to take our statements, etc. Luckily, Lori and I both got a good look at the guy, and I'm sure we caught some of the scuffle on camera. I'm not sure if the cops ever found him or the DVDs he snagged.