C'est La Vie

I know what to say, but don't know where to begin.

I saw a video on http://www.icanhascheezburger.com of a cat "making muffins" in a guy's hair. It was titled "Masseuse Kitty", and it made me cry. The cat looked just like my dear Tobey, and he used to make muffins in my hair just like that. I miss him so much. He was a great cat to me.

Two of my friends are getting married this year, and another one had a baby last year. I ache to be a wife and mother. No matter how many times I tell Brian what marriage and family means to me, we're still not married, 10 years later.

I hate my job. For half of February and all of March, we're not allowed any vacation time because of inventory. This screwed up my vacation plans. Hanson is filming their music video for their new album (coming out June 1st), and they invited their fans to come to Tulsa and watch the making of it, and possibly be in the video, time permitting. I got so excited when I heard about this, but discovered it was being held on March 6th. Not only is that in March, where no vacation time is allowed, but it's also on a Saturday. I work weekends until 10 p.m., and there aren't enough weekend employees to cover each others' breaks and whatnot. Another missed opportunity because of my suck-ass job.

I want to act. Many years ago, I went to a casting call for the WB (which is now called the CW). Believe it or not, I made the call-back. My dad drove me to Houston for the second casting call. I lost to a 15 year-old blonde pretty boy. Go figure! I'm so sick of being told I don't have "the look". I'm not tall enough, thin enough, pretty enough. Get past my physical appearance and pay attention to my acting! I'm not saying I'm amazing, but I always thought I was pretty good. I mean, in 7th grade, my English class put on a Thanksgiving play for friends and family. At the end of the play, the theatre teacher approached my parents and said he wanted me in his class. Obviously I had something in me to make him beg for me to be in his class. I miss it so much.

To sum it up: I miss my dead cat, I hate my job, I'm missing out on Hanson, I want to be married, and I want to act. All I can really do is keep on truckin' and hope for the best.