The Last One

Everyone I knew in high school is now either married, has children, or both. It feels like I'm the only one with neither a husband or a child. Don't get me wrong, I've been with my man for 9 years and we're perfectly happy being "common-law", but sometimes I just want to be a wife. A REAL wife. I want a wedding. It doesn't have to be extravagant. Hell, I'd be happy with just going to the Justice of the Peace and having a quick, 15 minute ceremony. It seems, however, that when we're thinking about driving to the courthouse and picking up a marriage license, something gets in our way. Whether it's drama, money, work, or the universe, SOMETHING always blocks our path. A friend of mine who I haven't spoken to in months is thinking about starting a family. I thought to myself, "Is it selfish that I don't want her to start a family before me?" And I realized, yes, it was selfish. If she wants a family and is ready, she should do it. I'd be so happy for her. Families can be wonderful things. I know I want one. And soon. But if she DOES start a family, then I will definitely be the last one. No matter how many hints I drop or how much I talk to my "hubby" about getting married for real, he always has a reason why it's a bad idea. Sometimes I think he doesn't want to marry me. Most of the time I agree with his reasoning. Like I said, I'm perfectly content with how we are now, but considering we've been together 9 years, I feel like we need to finalize our relationship. I love him dearly. Whether we get married or not, I know we will be together forever, and I'm so lucky to have that.